Other state of the Geek GIrl news.

Ok, well, I got 50 pages of THE NOVEL sent off to the agent I spoke with.  I am also working on two other novels simultaneously.  I know, most people don’t do that, but I have this weird ability to seriously multi-task.  Also, when I get blocked or fed up with one, I can move onto another and that usually prevents a full on case of Writer’s Block.

The NOVELS are:
1.  THE NOVEL is a “paranormal romance” involving different magical families, Seattle, the undead and werewolves.
2.  Novel 2 is a contemporary romance with a fat heroine.
3.  Another “paranormal romance” involving witches, the mafia, demons and stalker ex-boyfriends.

Ok.  I need to get back to work, just had to take a quick break from restraining self from strangling boss. 

Geek Girls Rule! #20 – Is Sexual Assault Appropriate in Gaming and #21 Sunshine and Lollipops

Geek Girls Rule! #20

Now, I’m not going to tell you never to use sexual assault, but I am going to ask you to think about why you want to use it in your game or as part of a character’s motivations. Yes, sexual assault is an all-too-common event in this world. According to RAINN.org, the Rape Abuse and Incest National Network, 1 in 6 women will be sexually assaulted during their lifetime. Given this statistic, it doesn’t seem that unlilkely that a character in a world based roughly off of ours would have a sexual assault happen to her, or even him (sexual assault against men is reported at a rate of roughly one in thirty-six).

However, I am going to say that, as a survivor of a sexual assault myself, I don’t necessarily want to play a character with that backstory. I roleplay to be characters who aren’t me. This doesn’t mean that I won’t play, or even create, a character with sexual assault as a backstory. Nor does it mean that I’ll balk at dealing with a sexual assault hook or storyline in a game. Actually, only once have I ever asked a GM to back off the subject. And, as far as I’m concerned, if you’re going to use it as part of a story arc, you had better have a damn good reason for it. (He did.)

Here are several reasons I’ve been given to explain the need to include sexual assault in a game. And they’re all pretty easy to counter:

One is that it does provide a reasonable backstory for certain disadvantages like nightmares, PTSD, insomnia or repressed memories. However, so do other events, like seeing the murder of loved ones, or seeing a catastrophe first-hand.

Another is that it allows you to showcase the villainy of your bad guys. Again, though you can do that through other means. Maybe have her/him freebase a kitten or something.

Third, it does happen so often in the real world that, in striving to create a realistic setting, one should include the bad as well as the good. Well, if you’ve got +20 swords of Elven might in your world or super hackers jacked directly into the Matrix, your realism argument isn’t going to carry much weight with me.

The thing is, sexual assault is… it sucks. A lot. It sucks to be the victim of it. It sucks to love a victim of it. It just sucks. And an awful lot of people, men and women, would just rather not deal with it in their leisure activities.

If you are going to use it as either hook or backstory, and this goes for players as well as for GMs, make sure the other players/GM are cool with it. Seriously. In the Bad Gamer Archetypes: Boy Edition, I described the guy who plays his sexual fantasy and the other guy in that group who spent all of his time lovingly describing the vile sexual violence his character perpetrated on the first guy’s character. None of that was directed at me, but as someone who was, at the time, only recently coming to grips with having been raped as a teenager, it disturbed the fuck out of me and ultimately I wound up leaving the group over it.

Now, I don’t want to hear any “Well, logically you should be able to separate yourself from the game, blah blah blah…” about it, either. There is nothing logical in the trauma that follows sexual assault. And different people react in different ways. Some survivors may WANT to use it in their character development and backstory, in order to work through it in a way over which they have complete control over what happens. Other survivors won’t want to deal with it at all, and they may not want to tell you why. There is no right way to handle the trauma and psychological scarring, and everyone needs to work through it in their own way.

So, like I said, I’m not telling you not to use sexual assault as a plot hook or a as a character backstory. But, seriously, think about it. Talk it over with your players/GM. Find out how they feel about it. I know just as many guys who are squicked out the concept of incorporating sexual assault in a game as women, for whatever reason. In fact, I’ve seen guys deal with it less well in game than I have. I will not speculate on the why of that.

Okay, then. I promise the next couple of columns will be “happier” and more on-time. There’s been more surgery and more pet trauma in the household and, well, I’m doing the best I can to keep up.

Links and help for Sexual Assault Survivors:
http://www.rainn.org
National Domestic Violence Hotline 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or 1-800-787-3224 (TDD)
National Sexual Assault Hotline 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)
http://www.womenshealth.gov/violence/state/
Or contact your local hospital or Social Services office. They can help you find what you need.

Geek Girls Rule! #21

Yes, two, two, two columns in one week! After the last column’s heavy subject matter and the fucked up summer I’ve been having, I thought I owed you (and myself) a little lighthearted frivolity.

GURPS Martial Arts, 4th Ed.
First, I have to state that I am basing this review solely off the happy little orgasmic sounds my husband made while reading it. I haven’t read it yet, largely because I can’t pry it out of his grubby little paws. So I’m guessing it’s good. Between the oooh’s, ahhh’s, happy little gasps, squeaks, moans, and the fact that our Sunday gaming group kept having to tell him to “put the god damned book down and GM for the love of God,” I think I can safely say that the GURPS Martial Arts book delivers. A more complete review will have to wait until he is no longer sleeping with it clasped lovingly to his chest.

Kuromi by Sanrio
Kuromi is, apparently, Sanrio’s answer to Goth culture. Okay, in addition to Batz Maru. Kuromi is a bunny, I think, who wears a black hat and cape. Her special little insignia are cherry skulls, and a lot of her stuff comes in shiny black vinyl. My discovery of Kuromi was predicated by breaking my Pochacco wallet and needing a replacement. As Pochacco is currently off the Sanrio roster, I went poking around and found this adorable little rebellious bunny dressed in black PVC and lace. Love her. And she has a whole coterie of gothy little pals.

Unhallowed Metropolis
I don’t have my copy yet. The first printing sold out immediately. This rocks for my buddies at EOS, but it sucks for me, as I can’t review it until the second printing this October. Also, my Girl Gamers are chomping at the bit to play it. I’m hearing good things though and I can’t wait.

Jareth from Labyrinth Action Figure
I squealed. I love Labyrinth. It is my favorite movie ever. Muppets AND David Bowie, how can you go wrong? I can’t tell you how many times I saw it in the theater when it came out. (You in the back, quit snickering. Yes, I’m old.) I wore out my first VHS copy around 1990. Friends bought me another one for Christmas that year (which, by the way, I’ve had signed by Danny John Jules who was the voice of the Fieries). I now have it on DVD and sitll need to get the special edition. But back to the action figure. The sculpt is pretty good. The face isn’t the greatest, but it does look like David Bowie. My favorite comic shop is currently holding one for me. My dilemma now is: leave it in the box, or take it out and play with it.

War
Jet Li, Jason Statham, a PLOT? Why, indeed, yes. A decent plot. I wasn’t even annoyed that neither gentleman mentioned above took off his shirt on camera, which as far as I’m concerned should be written into every contract ever for both of them. Good action, good directing, good story. I liked it a lot. Lots of eye candy, pretty explosions, and it wasn’t completely stupid.

Phillip Pullman, His Dark Materials
This series was recommended to me by several people as something to read while waiting for the next Harry Potter book a couple years ago. I started it then, but just didn’t get into it. Recently, having finished the last Harry Potter book (why Snape?), I picked it up again, and this time I couldn’t put it down. I ripped through the first one in no time flat and immediately went out and bought the other two. They’re good and I highly recommend them. I don’t know if I’d let any children under say 11 or 12 read them, as they are pretty dark, but they’re good.

The Muppet Show DVDs: Seasons 1 and 2
EEEEEEEEEEEE! Yes, I’m old enough to have seen these when they originally aired, and I missed the Muppet Show deeply. It’s bright, colorful, and fun enough to appeal to kids, but with enough “mature” jokes in it that adults can enjoy it too, kind of like Bugs Bunny cartoons. Some of the guest stars I don’t really remember and had to look up on IMDB. But the shows themselves haven’t lost any sparkle. They’re all good, but John Cleese, Zero Mostel and Peter Sellers really stand out. I can’t wait for the next ones. I’m still waiting for the Johnny Cash episode. I remember that one really vividly from my childhood.

Okay, that should be enough bunnies and rainbows and hearts to hold everyone for awhile. I’m hoping, as we’ve organized the fiction section of our book collection and actually gathered all the comics into one area, that I might be able to catch up on my huge backlog of comics and maybe review one or two story arcs.

 

 

 

Geek Girls Rule! #19 – Playing the Opposite Gender

This is something that comes up on various Geek Girl communities I visit with fair regularity. At least once a month someone somewhere asks the question ”What do you guys think of cross-gender playing? Do you allow it as GMs? Why or why not?”

Now, if you’ve been paying attention, you’ll recall that I’ve had some pretty scathing things to say about guys who play female characters badly. I’ve got some pretty scathing things to say about women who play male characters badly as well. And, honestly, both groups are guilty of the same basic thing. They don’t play the opposite gender as if they are people, they play a cartoon of how they THINK the opposite gender should behave. 

The Geek Girl’s Top Five Ways To Screw Up Playing A Girl (if you’re a boy):
1. Battle lingerie, chainmail bikinis or other improbable armor
2. An otherwise tough character who is afraid of “icky” things
3. A character who is far more squeamish about the taking of life or torture than a male character with a similar backstory
4. An “intellectual” character who is constantly led by her emotions or feelings, rather than logic or deduction
5. Over-sexed/Frigid due to sexual abuse*

The Geek Girls Top Five Ways To Screw Up Playing A Boy (if you’re a girl):
1. Always cold and logical
2. Overly violent for no reason
3. A complete dick for no real reason
4. Over-sexed/Hits on everything in a skirt
5. Completely lacking in subtlety

Okay, it was pretty hard to narrow it down to the five sins that make me most insane, but I think that about covers it.

Now, that I’ve told you at least part of what constitutes poor cross-gender playing, how do you do it well?

One thing to remember is that men and women are NOT separate species, nor are they that difficult to understand. Really, basic human motivations do not differ much from gender to gender. First and foremost is the drive to survive and to meet those needs that enable survival. Then comes the aquisition of sex, stuff and comfy beds.  Now, while the genders are socialized to meet these needs differently, fundamentally they aren’t that different.

Tip 1: Watch the members of the opposite gender that you know and that you interact with every day. If you’re thinking of playing a smart girl character, watch the smart girls that you know and hang out with. Wanna know how a big jocky guy is going to act? Watch some. Eavesdrop on conversations, watch how people interact. Really, working retail or anywhere in public is invaluable for this. Once you get the jist of how certain types of people act in certain situations, it’s pretty easy to start extrapolating their behavior in other areas.

Tip 2: During character creation, pay real attention to your character concept. For example, think hard about what qualities a cold-blooded assassin is going to need completely separate of gender. An assassin should be cold, logical, meticulous, intelligent, pay strict attention to detail, be observant, conversant with several weapons and the master of at least one. Where does gender come into any of those things? It doesn’t. Do NOT go out of your way to give your female assassin a bunch of “feminine” skills she’ll never use. Also, don’t give your male researcher guy a bunch of fighting and weapons skills just because he’s a guy.

I’m going to let you in on a little secret: sometimes people suck at the skills that are often assigned to their gender by society. I can’t sew, I cook passably well but I don’t like to, and I freaking hate housework. My husband can’t build things, doesn’t do yard work and, while he knows how to operate a computer, the minute it glitches he yells for me. On the other hand, he is an amazing cook and LOVES to do it. I am really good with the computrons, enjoy heavy yard work and I can build stuff. 

The main thing to remember when playing a member of the opposite gender is that, first and foremost, they are a person. Play them as a person, don’t worry so much about throwing in clever little “gender cues.” You want them to come off as genuine people, rather than cartoons. 

I’m not saying that sometimes cartoonish depictions don’t have their place. I have played more than a few cutesy, sex-crazed catgirls in cinematic, one-off games. I’ve also played the cold, emotionless killing machine in some of those same games.

Okay, I have to sign off. There’s a small apricot cat stomping all over my chest and keyboard. He’s pissed. It’s past his bedtime.

*Sexual abuse as a plot hook or character backstory will have its own column soon.

Soon!

Soon there will be a new Geek Girls Rule! at MediaGauntlet about cross-gendered gaming. 

Also, the Boy has just picked up GURPS Martial Arts, 4th ed.  And he keeps making little sexually happy noises while reading it.  Just periodically there are the squeals of joy, or little moans of ecstasy as he finds new things that make him happy.  I’m guessing this means its good.