Review: Blackest Night #1

There’s only one thing in the universe more awesome than zombies. Zombies with power rings.

This year’s big event from DC Comics is the Blackest Night miniseries and its tie-ins. Yes, I know it’s easy to get burned out on big events when they occur far too often and so often fail to live up to the hype. I’m pleased to report that the first issue of Blackest Night lives up to the hype and then some.

There were seven known Lantern Corps: four positive ones­-Green, Violet, Blue, and Indigo­-and three negative ones­-Yellow, Red, and Orange. Now the eighth stands revealed, the deadly and evil Black Lantern Corps, composed of reanimated corpses whose power rings cry out for flesh as they seek their hosts. Most of the Black Lanterns are deceased superheroes, now wholly corrupted by the power of the Black Lantern Corps.

Geoff Johns has consistently been one of the best writers working in superhero comics the past few years, and this miniseries will only enhance that reputation. This is one of those stories where one simply can’t turn the pages fast enough to find out what happens next. The shocking conclusion to this first issue hits like a two by four to the side of the head, leaving one stunned but eager to read the next installment.

The art by penciller Ivan Reis and inker Oclair Albert appropriately captures the tone and nuances of Johns’ writing, visualizing everything from a big celebration to two characters talking to hordes of the undead with equal skill. From the intimate to the epic, the art is suited to the material.

Blackest Night #1 is a winner, and hopefully the miniseries as a whole will be every bit as good. It’s not going to redefine comics as we know them, but it’s a cracking good read.

Zombies with power rings. You know you want to read it.

Seriously, Marvel?

Guys get costumes, we get lip gloss?

http://marvel.com/news/.8597.Marvel~apos~s_Summer_Style_Guide

Just fuck you in the ear.

Geek Girls Rule! #90 – Review of Marvel Divas

I freely admit I’m cheating here, because there are enough horrible things in my life right now, so I’m just going to forward you on to Irena Dubrovna’s Review of Marvel Divas and post a few of the more quotable bits here. 

First, I’d like to thank her for taking one for the team by reading and reviewing Divas, especially considering her view that it is, indeed, “worse than even I could have imagined, and no, I’m not exaggerating.”  I thank her from the bottom of my coal black little heart for providing me with an excuse not to read this tripe. 

This quote in particular made my laugh in all my bitter and jaded cynicism:
“I would like to express my condolences to whoever the poor shmuck is currently being forced to watch the entire first season of Sex and the City on DVD. No, really, let’s cover every minute plot intricacy that was borrowed from everyone’s favourite TV show (and by “everyone” I mean everyone with a vagina and/or Ryan Seacrest).”

You know, when the powers that be at Marvel called it like Sex and the City, I don’t think anyone expected such a blatant ripping off.  Irena goes through and lists all the similarities, and they are many and disappointing.  And Superheroine Speed-Dating?   Really?  Really?

And, as we saw with the demise of DC’s Minx line, when women don’t clamour for more of this re-hashed pap gussied up as “Girl Power” the leadership at Marvel is going to crow all about how they gave us what we wanted, and we didn’t buy it so phooey on us.  You know they will.  And when we say, “Yes, but that isn’t what we asked you for,” they will stick their fingers in their ears and sing “La la la la la la can’t hear you!” while they go racing off for the cootie-spray, lest they be polluted by our overwhelming and irrational estrogen. 

Seriously.  

Thank you, Irena, for reviewing this.  I’m just not brave enough to do myself.  Everyone go give her props for biting this particularly phallic bullet for us.

More Reviews:
http://1979semifinalist.wordpress.com/2009/07/02/review-marvel-divas-1/
http://genderacrossborders.com/2009/06/30/marvel-divas-making-breast-cancer-sexy/
And the one positive review:  http://www.comicbookresources.com/?page=user_review&id=1168  By a guy, of course.

Geek Girls Rule! #89 – Miscellaneous crap and symptoms of the mid-30s hormone rush…

I know it’s been awhile.  I kind of blew my wad with the Joe Quesada drinking game et al., and I’ve been blogging on geeky topics over at the California NOW blog.  Topics include the LA Times’ “Girls’ Guide to Comicon” (the resulting aneurysm wiped out 3rd grade), the Today show segment on the fact that Gosh, Golly and Don’t You Just Know It!,* girls play videogames!!!  And how they managed to interview the founder of the Frag Dolls without once mentioning what Frag means and what game they’re most famous for playing (HALO) I’ll never fucking know.  The most recent blog post there is about why my hobbies courting “normal” girls pisses me off so damn much. 

That’s not all I’ve been up to.  Tonight is the kickoff for Go Play NW!  The Geek Husband What Rules and I will be at the kickoff feast, and then gaming.  I have no idea what I’ll be playing.  I never sign up for anything ahead of time.  Instead I usually see who needs a player, or barring that, see who else is leftover and we’ll form a game in a lobby or something.  I’m so moody about my gaming, as in I need to be in the mood for something to really dig on it, that signing up ahead of time really doesn’t work out that well for me. 

Now, as relates to hormones…  As much as I adore Nightcrawler of the X-men (eXcalibur, etc…), is it wrong that every time they come up with a “bad” or, let’s just say, less moral version of him in another timeline (gotta love the multiverse), that I develop a mad crush on that version as well.  Maybe a fiercer crush…  A friend just gave me a copy of the orignal miniseries with Ilyana Rasputin, where she’s taken by Belasco and… Nightcrawler in a loincloth… sigh… 

Yeah, I’m a walking mass of libido, which to be honest has not changed since adolescence.  It’s one of the many reasons the Mister married me. 

The Geek Husband What Rules will be at DragonFlight this year, I might be there for a day.  My partner in crime over at Geek Sisterhood, Sophie, will also be up for Dragonflight!! 

I’ve also got a podcast I’m editing for here.  An interview with my friend Karnythia about her new publishing house, Verb Noire. 

*Why yes, I am originally from the Midwest.  How’d you guess?

Geek Girls Rule! Podcast #12 – The Whiskey and Cigarettes Podcast

Yes, once again, I podcast with a hashed voice.  Sigh. Gotta happen once a year.

Podcast 12

In this one, I talk about the passing of Wash, Rhythm Heaven, Why Guy Ritchie is the absolute worst person to make a Sherlock Holmes film, Why Francis Ford Coppola still owes me $8 for Dracula, Go Play NW, D&D 4e doesn’t suck, and some other stuff.

Oh, and the Geek Girls! Rule Zazzle Store.

Can’t blog, eating pizza!

The Joe Quesada* Drinking Game: Official Rules

*This is in no way endorsed by Marvel, Mr. Quesada or anyone else officially linked to either Marvel or Mr. Quesada.  It is satirical in purpose.

Equipment:

Your favorite booze (with chasers if desired)
The internet
When Fangirls Attack, Newsarama or another comics news site

Rules:

1. If Mr. Quesada points to an amazingly cheesecaked out female character dressed in string, and says, “That’s a strong female character,” take a shot.
2. If Mr. Quesada says “I can’t be sexist because… (i.e. I listen to P!nk, I have a daughter…),” take a shot.
3. If Mr. Quesada says that the people who are criticizing him should just go away and never read Marvel comics anymore, take a shot.
4. If Mr. Quesada says we just don’t “get” how these characters are powerful, take a shot.
5. If Mr. Quesada says that the people criticizing him/Marvel Comics obviously don’t read them, and should just shut up, take a shot.
6. If at any time Mr. Quesada or the author/interviewer infers that comic fangirls are just ugly, fat, gross beasts and are jealous of female comic characters, take a shot.
7. Any time Mr. Quesada opens his mouth, take a shot preemptively, it’ll dull the pain of the ensuing stupid.

If anyone else would like to contribute rules to the Joe Quesada drinking game (no affiliation in any way, shape or form with Mr. Quesada or Marvel comics, intended for satirical purposes only, this website does not advocate drinking yourself into a stupor, no matter how it numbs the pain of being a female Marvel fan), please feel free to leave your rules in comments.  At a later date we will collect them all and publish them in another post.   I will also accept suggestions for a Dan Didio Drinking game as well.

Thank you.

With special thanks to the Geek Husband What Rules for helping me codify this many rules.

Geek Girls Rule! #85 – Joe, Joe, Joe, f*ckin’ Joe.

When a friend of ours does something particularly boneheaded, say, getting back together with a disastrous ex, that’s usually how we start the conversation.  Just imagine a lot of headshaking.

As I said in the last quick post, I really should know better than to try to read any interview, press release or article about Joe Quesada without a fifth of whiskey at hand.  Seriously, I want to create the Joe Quesada Drinking Game.  Every time he says something egregiously sexist, or just plain stupid about women, take a shot.  Congratulations, you’ll be a career alcoholic in no time. 

Ok, in the press release in question, Mr. Quesada cites P!nk’s album covers as a reason Marvel’s not sexist, and further, we’re supposed to imply that because he listens to a Feminist musician like P!nk, that means he’s not sexist.

Mr. Quesada, I read the Koran as part of a Grad level survey of religions class, this does not make me Muslim.  Nor does the fact that I also read the Upanishads make me Hindu.  Nor does having read the Bible make me Christian. 

As with religion and many other life and ethical choices we face, there is much more to being Feminist that listening to Sarah McLachlan and Ani DeFranco.  Part and parcel of being Feminist (for men and women) is realizing that women are still neither legally nor socially equal in this society.  We are paid less for the same work, our bodies are a warzone over whether or not we should or should not have children, abort, get sterilized, etc…  The other part of being a Feminist is working to try to overcome those inequities and doing something about it, as much as you can.  Whether it’s blogging, marching, volunteer work, spreading the word, performing at charitable functions, attending those functions, calling people out on their bullshit, whatever. 

Also, I think you insult P!nk when you equate a strong woman like her, who has written songs like “Respect,” “Stupid Girls” and “Dear Mr. President” with wank fodder images drawn by perpetual adolescents. 

Because this: 

Yeah, no agency here whatsoever. /snrk

Totally equals this:

They're just dripping with agency here.

For the love of all that’s holy…

Also, Mr. Quesada’s response to accusations of sexism in Marvel comics is to say:

“If you’re [a] Marvel reader and truly feel we’re sexist, then why are you reading our books? Now, perhaps you’re not a Marvel reader, then if that’s the case, I’m not quite sure what you’re criticizing if you don’t read our books?”

So, let me get this straight.  If you are reading Marvel and criticizing them, you shouldn’t be reading them.  And if you don’t read them, you…  No, wait, it doesn’t make any more sense the longer I look at it.  (*takes shot*)

I have said it before and I’ll say it again:  I love comics.  I love superhero comics.  I don’t want to be pissed off every time I open a comic book, I want to be entertained.  And this “well, if you don’t like it, just leave” attitude the Big Two seem to have is going to shoot them in the foot.  Because eventually we will just leave.  We’ll take our money and go home, and so will the guys who have grown up enough to realize, “Hey, this sexism shit really is toxic.”   When the Husband What Rules and I first got together, he would occasionally rib me for calling something sexist bullshit.  But over the years he’s come to realize, I’m right about most of it.  And honestly, because he’s newer to the realization, he catches shit that I’ve become inured to through years of being female in this society.   Honestly, he feels I should just give up on the Big Two entirely.  And frequently and loudly announces this every time I pick up an issue and the eye rolling starts. 

But I don’t want to give up comics.  I want them to evolve with their audience.

Mr. Quesada has also stated that he can’t be sexist because he has a daughter, and I assume he loves her.  Well, Joe, is the Divas image really what you want your daughter to think beauty is?  Is that what you think is heroic for women and what she should strive to emulate?  Breast emphasizing poses and porn face?  Somehow I doubt that highly.  Or at I least I hope not.  Every woman out there is someone’s daughter.  You didn’t create the toxic environment your daughter and other girls are going to have to navigate, but you’re contributing to it and the sooner you realize that, the better off we’ll all be.

Memo: Me Re: Quesada

Never, ever, ever read any press release from Joe Quesada without a fifth of whiskey at hand. 

The hurting…

Thank you, that is all.

Geek Girls Rule#83 – Why does Joe Quesada hate my blood pressure?

This article was brought to my attention by blogger Catwoman over at Hardcore Nerdity.  It’s a brief interview with Joe Quesada about the new Marvel title, “Marvel Divas” which Mr. Quesada is touting as a title for women.

Does this…

Yeah, this is target marketed to women. Sure.

look like it’s the cover for a title aimed at women?  Seriously?

The Geek Husband What Rules’s response on seeing it was, “Wow, pornalicious.”

Ahem…

Dear Mr. Quesada,
Marketing to women, UR DOIN IT RONG!!!!!!!
Please to be stopping.
Sincerely,
Every Female Comic Fan in the Universe

He describes it as “Sex and the City in the Marvel Universe.”

Personally, I think Mr. Quesada never got past Samantha’s tits to understand exactly why women actually liked the show.  I admit to an unhealthy fascination with the first two seasons on HBO, only partially because Chris (OMG, DREAMY) Noth played Carrie’s boyfriend, Mr. Big.  These were four women who were strong, independent, had jobs I would KILL for, and owned their sexuality.  They didn’t sleep with men to please men, they slept with men to please themselves.  Even Charlotte, the most timid and puritanical of the four, realized that owning her own sexuality and pleasure was neccessary to her mental health and happiness.

So I look at that image above and compare it to this shot from the intro titles to “Sex and the City,”where the four women are engaged with each other, not posing pornaliciously, and I find Mr. Quesada’s vision sorely lacking, as well as his comprehension of what made women, even nerdy women like me, enjoy “Sex and the City.”  These women have agency and friendship.  They aren’t all posing sexily in their own little world, completely separate from one another.  Even in the promo shots for the movie that were more posed, they still look more powerful than those superheroines above.

After the “Sex and the City” comment, he adds:  “I also think the series is going to a deeper place, asking questions about what it means…truly means…to be a woman in an industry dominated by testosterone and guns. (And I mean both the super hero industry and the comic book industry.)”  You’ll forgive me a sardonic laugh at this point, because he immediately follows it up with this gem:  “But mostly it’s just a lot of hot fun.”

I think I’m about to give myself a concussion from all the “headdesking” about to occur.

Seriously, Joe, hire some women and let them write.  It’s the only way you can come out of this without looking like a complete sexist pig.  Ok, it’s too late for that.  But seriously, women like comics, women like superhero comics, women WANT to like superhero comics, and women want to not cringe every time they buy an X-title and think “Wow, I feel dirty that any of my money is going to support someone who doesn’t think I’m a real person.”

Final Crisis: Some Thoughts

Final Crisis #7 summed up in two words: holy %$#& (insert the expletive of your choice).

I was somewhat disappointed by the first two issues of this major event miniseries. Once writer Grant Morrison hit his stride in the third issue, it just got better and better, culminating in a mindblowing finale that only Morrison could have crafted, and one that exceeded all of my expectations. It’s so wonderfully weird and cosmic. The parts I didn’t like about the first two issues make sense now that I’ve read the entire story in all of its brilliant glory.

Morrison is one mad bastard of a writer, and I mean that in an entirely positive way. I love his work (although it took me awhile to forgive him for killing off Jean Grey again). I’ve been a fan since he worked on Animal Man in the late 1980s.

And, really, how can one not love a comic where Captain Carrot makes a cameo appearance?

I’ve had quite a few disagreements with people today because I loved Final Crisis #7 and the miniseries as a whole. The majority opinion in fandom seems to be that this issue, and the miniseries as a whole, was confusing and, well, just too damn weird. I didn’t find it to be confusing. Challenging at times, yes, and most definitely weird, but those aren’t necessarily bad things. Then again, I’m someone who appreciates things like surrealism and the films of David Lynch.

Final Crisis writer Grant Morrison has admitted to heavy use of psychedelic drugs in the past as a way to expand his consciousness and once said that he thought David Lynch films reflected real life. Some of his stories in Doom Patrol were inspired by Dadaism, and his later work on The Invisibles was influenced by Robert Anton Wilson, Aleister Crowley, and William S. Burroughs. Although he’s also written more mainstream comics, like JLA and New X-Men, Morrison at his best is a mad genius who likes to challenge his readers.

I don’t think Morrison tries to be deliberately confusing, he simply applies his own internal logic to his works. Lynch refuses to explain his films because he believes that it’s more interesting to see how viewers interpret them for themselves. I think Morrison needs to be read the same way. Neither creator is talking down to the audience, they actually want the audience to think.

Final Crisis is far from perfect, but Morrison’s occasional stumbles are still far more fascinating than most other comics writers at their best. This is the kind of gleeful mind crack that dares to do something different than just another run of the mill big superhero event. Any writer can do those. It takes a brilliant writer to do a Final Crisis.

I’ll have more thoughts on this series to post at a later time. I still have much to cover, including various cameos, the surprising misuse of Wonder Woman in the story, and a look at my favorite moments.

Agree? Disagree? Think I’m as crazy as Morrison? Let me know!

– Danielle Ni Dhighe