Geek Girls Rule – Flash Update

I’ve been blogging over at the California Chapter of NOW’s blog for a while, which explains some of the slowdown over here.  And today I did something for them that is equally germane to this blog, but I’m not going to repost it in its entirety, so go there and read it.  

Essentially, enough people sent me the link to Limpdick McDouchepants… I mean, “Pro-Male/Anti-Feminist Tech”’s screed about how girls are getting estrogen all over his SF/F, and gay men are getting their gay-ey gayness… or whatever, all over his SF/F and he’s had enough! 

I think we can all picture Captain Sadpants McDateless, at least his demeanor if not his looks.  He’s the kind of guy who’ll spend half an hour telling a girl why she can’t possibly understand SF/F like him and his giant, genius man-brain, and how all women are gold diggers and whores, then ask her out and wonder why she doesn’t leap at the chance.  I’ve met him, you’ve met him, we all wish we hadn’t. 

Thankfully, these jerks are a minority in SF/F and gaming circles.

Geek Girls Rule! #104 – Trolly Trolly Troll Troll.

Occasionally, not often, but occasionally, I get trolls here.  When I do, on those rare occasions, unless they’ve said something actionable in a court of law, I leave them up.  I mean, I can’t possibly make them look any dumber than they have themselves.  And really, I’m hoping to inspire them to great heights (or depths) of trollness for my entertainment, because I really do find these guys funny.  Guys?  Excuse my assumed sexism, people.  But I think it’s generally a safe bet that they are guys, just because of the content of the trolling. 

One of the first actual trolls I got replied to one of my posts with, “I think someone needs to start shaving.”  My response, “I wax.”  Really, that’s the best you can come up with?  I’m a Feminist so I must be hairy?  He wasn’t even really trying. 

The next one I received felt the need to take me to task over my hatred of Windows Vista.  I found this hilarious.  The idea that MICROSOFT needs a brave defender from me.  Good Gods, people.  Microsoft could buy several small nations.  I seriously doubt that my harsh words even ding their tough, dinosaur-like hide. 

However, if Microsoft are listening I have some advice for you guys.  Put out a finished product.  See, I remember when you used to do that.  Windows 95, 98, Office 97.  Then you started the Beta testing program, where users could get free copies of things like the Office suite in beta, and they would agree to send all their feedback to Microsoft.  In return, beta testers got a reduced price on the finished product.  I was a beta user for Microsoft Office 2000. 

THEN Microsoft decided, “Well we can just release the betas charge people $300, install something that automatically reports all the problems back to us if they’re on the net, and then issues so many patches it will render all but the most powerful machines nigh useless.”  Sigh.

There it is, you want me to quit bitching about Microsoft?  Tell your bosses to release actual finished software instead of betas, for which they charge too fucking much.  The end.

Next, I just got my first troll on the podcast (no, I haven’t unhidden his comment).  He’s so cute!  I just want to pinch his chubby little cheeks, run my fingers through his crazy sticky up neon hair and rub the jewel in his tummy!!!!

Trolly, Trolly, Troll Troll

I think if girls want to get involved with roleplaying the best way they can do it is to convey snacks and beverages to the gaming table, preferably barefoot. On no account should they be allowed into a dungeon, they will take 20 minutes to parallel park their floating disk at the best of times and will start moaning as soon as they realise the game isn’t solely about them. Or taking their clothes off for attention.  (by Nerd)

Isn’t he just the most adorable and completely unoriginal little Troll you ever did see? 

Now, there are two possible explanations for this comment.  1. Is that he thinks he’s being ironic, and his imitation of douche-ness is just so spot on that we’re missing the satire.  Or 2. He’s sitting at home alone, waiting for puberty and is going to spend the rest of his life wondering why girls don’t like him.*

I’m leaning heavily toward 2 at this point.  Honestly, I just hope he never shoots up a health club like that asshole in Pennsylvania.  And that last bit about girls taking their clothes off for attention, does that sound the teeniest bit like wishful thinking to any of the rest of you?  Yeah, I thought so. 

I’ve always wondered whether it was masochism or pure entitlement that makes people come into spaces that are pretty much guaranteed to piss them off, and pee all over everything.  I mean, come on Dude, look at the title of the blog and podcast:  Geek GIRLS RULE!  I mean, you already know this is not your thing.  This would be like me going into a blog called “It’s so cute when women pretend to think” and being surprised at the rampant misogyny.  Is it some pathological plea for help?  Did mommy not love you enough?  What? 

On the other hand, thank you for one hell of a good laugh.  My keyboard may never be the same.

So, guys, share your best trolls with us.  Or even the best trolls and responses you’ve ever seen. 

*The ‘waiting for puberty’ comment stands regardless of whether he’s 13 or 30.

Geek Girls Rule! #102 – Really, Marvel?

Oh for the love of little green apples… 

I first heard about this from Hoyden about Town.  Essentially, villian Chameleon impersonates Peter Parker and sleeps with Peter’s room-mate.  When people start to point out to the writer that this constitutes rape, his response is:

“My understanding of the definition of rape is that it requires force or the threat of force, so no. Using deception to trick someone into granting consent isn’t quite the same thing.
“Which is not to say it isn’t a horrible, evil, reprehensible thing that Chameleon did. He is a bad man.
“He insults parapelegics[sic] and dips people in acid too.”

Faith in humanity sinking… 

So, according to Fred Van Lente, someone being blackmailed into sex, isn’t rape.  Someone having the choice of losing their job or putting out, isn’t rape.  Someone drugged unconscious or passed out being penetrated (you need violence for rape, remember?), isn’t rape.  Someone thinking they’re with one person when it’s really another isn’t rape.

Actually, according to  courts in the US (you’ll want to check your specific state laws) and Canada, if you impersonate someone else  to gain sexual access to someone, it is indeed sexual assault.  If someone has not consented to sex with YOU, it is rape.  Period.  It doesn’t mean you can’t pretend to be a fighter pilot to impress a chick at a bar, although trust me, we aren’t ever fooled.  It does mean you can’t bang your twin brother’s girlfriend without her knowing which twin you are.

Fortunately, several folks over at i09 have been calling this guy on his bullshit.  Not all of them.  There are still a fair number of idiots who don’t get it, but at least some people are speaking out on this. 

The second offensive part of this is the fact that after sleeping with “Peter” once, the character in question immediately turns into the controlling girlfriend from Hell.  Really?  You think women do that?  Seriously?  Have you met one? 

Honestly, the most likely result of a tumble on the kitchen floor with a previously platonic room-mate would be some awkward silence, a lot of “um”-ing and “So, uh, where do we stand after this afternoon?”*  Shit, I can draw the panel in my head.  But I guess a hot Latina in Spiderman’s t-shirt is way more interesting than showing her fully clothed, rubbing the back of her neck and awkwardly not meeting Peter’s eyes. 

So, to paraphrase Keith Olbermann, “Mr. Fred Van Lente, today’s Worst Person in the World!!!”  Ok, not the world.  Just my small part of it.

*Yes, I speak from experience here.  Sigh.  My libido has ever been my Achilles’ heel, and hot geeky boys my kryptonite.

Geek Girls Rule! #93.5 – EA Apologizes, sort of…

From Kotaku: 

“We understand there’s a lot of debate right now around our “Sin to Win” promotion at Comic-Con and wanted to clarify a few things. We created this promotion as part of our marketing efforts around the circle of Lust (one of the nine sins/circles of Hell). Each month we will be focusing on a new Circle of Hell. This month is Lust. Costumed reps are a tradition at Comic-Con. In the spirit of both the Circle of Lust and Comic-Con, we are encouraging attendees to Tweet photos of themselves with any of the costumed reps at Comic-Con here, find us on Facebook or via e-mail. “Commit acts of lust” is simply a tongue-in-cheek way to say take pictures with costumed reps. Also, a “Night of Lust” means only that the winner will receive a chaperoned VIP night on the town with the Dante’s Inferno reps, all expenses paid, as well as other prizes.

“We apologize for any confusion and offense that resulted from our choice of wording, and want to assure you that we take your concerns and sentiments seriously. We’ll continue to follow your comments and please let us know if you have any other thoughts or concerns. Keep watching as the event unfolds and we hope you’ll agree that it was all done in the spirit of the good natured fun of Comic-Con.”

Translation for those playing along at home:  “We’re sorry you’re a bunch of humorless feminists.”

Yes, because there is absolutely NO WAY on the planet that ANYONE could miscontrue “Commit acts of lust” to be more than taking pictures, I mean… Geez… Come ON. 

Is there any adult supervision at EA Games?

While some of the Kotaku comments are really hateful, many of them came out in support of the people who got angry, spearheaded by “Booth Babe Hauls Off on Dante’s Fiasco.”   There’s the usual amount of victim blaming.  “Well, if girls wouldn’t go around looking all sexy, we wouldn’t have to be dicks,” to paraphrase some of the most egregious commenters.  Seriously, guys?  That’s your best answer?  Really?  Victim blaming and shirking any responsibility you might have for being a decent human being?  Your mother must be so proud.

Gah. 

Ok, I’m going to go take some aspirin, possibly some scotch, and lay down for a while.  Talk amongst yourselves. 

PS.  I still wanna know where the hot Booth Boys were for the girls to photograph, jerks.

 

Geek Girls Rule! #93 – What the HELL, EA Games?

You have got to be kidding me.  THIS is repulsive on so many levels…  I keep saying I’m not going to swear so much in this column, because people keep telling me their kids read it, but son-of-a-bitch!!!!!

So, EA Games has decided to run a contest at SDCC.  The rules are “1.  Commit act of lust” by getting photographed with a booth babe.  “2. Prove it” by posting it online via Twitter or Facebook and “3. Repeat.”    The prize for the guy with the highest number of entries is a date with “two hot babes,” I’m guessing the aforementioned booth babes.  After a day or two of being the victims of “acts of lust” committed and memorialized for posterity by sweaty, mouth breathing assholes, that should be a fun night, hey. 

Just how do you put “be a ‘willing’ victim of mass acts of sexual harassment” into a job description and fly that by any legal department worth a damn?

I swear, this entire week has been an exercise in giving me a stroke.  Good thing I’ve started going back to the gym so I can work some of this anger off. 

I’ve been a surrogate booth babe for friends’ booths at smaller conventions than SDCC, and it kind of sucks.  I mean, I LIKE being friendly and flirty and talking to people.  But after a few hours of lame come-ons, open ogling and sweaty palms, not to mention the assholes who seem to think your position as advertising for your buddy’s goods means you’re public property and who try to sneak pinches or grabs, your smile gets brittle and strained, and you start to really, really, REALLY hate the male half of the species. 

It’s a phenomena you’ll find in a lot of women who do work which involves them playing the part of sexual fantasy girl in any sort of capacity.  And I don’t just mean booth babes, car show models, strippers or peepshow girls.  I also mean, bartenders, waitresses and any number of other service industry jobs, where, because of the sexism inherent in our society, women are expected to be nice, kind, friendly and accomodating.  Where your income and living depend on being nice to the kind of mouth-breathing douchebags and slimy, smarmy assheads you’d rather beat to death with a barstool. 

I mean, at least strippers have giant bouncers whose hobbies include “asshole origami” to protect them.  I highly doubt EA has hired any bouncers to protect these women.  I hope at least one of them knows Krav Maga or Jiu Jitsu and puts some neanderthals in the hospital, then EA winds up covering the bills for it. 

I just don’t know what they hell they’re thinking.  Do I really have to explain why this is a shitty and stupid contest idea?  Do I?  I mean, if you’ve been reading here for any length of time I’d think you’d have grasped a few of the basic tennants of Feminism. 

And hell, if you’re gonna do that sort of thing, why not have Booth Hunks for the Fangirls to “commit acts of lust” with?  Oh, that’s right… Women don’t play videogames and we certainly don’t like checking out hot men…  I certainly hope that sarcasm’s coming through loud and clear for you, there. 

As I’ve said many, many times before… I am not against being pretty or sexy, or whatever.  I am not against finding people hot.  I AM against setting up your employees for sexual harassment, and probably some sexual assault as well.  People, male or female, have a tendency to behave badly when feeling anonymous in a crowd.  Add that to this society’s view of women’s bodies as objects and public property, then give them permission to engage in one level of bad behavior…  The stupid starts to stack up pretty quickly. 

Ok, that’s enough for now.  I have to go lay down, this aneurysm I’ve got going is starting to overwhelm me. 

I think I’ll name it “Frank.”

Geek Girls Rule! #92 – Single Gender and Multi-Gender Gaming Groups

Every so often someone “calls me out” because they perceive a hypocrisy between my insistence that girls should be made welcome in gaming, and the fact that I run a single gender “Girl Game.”

Ok, guys, seriously, nowhere have I EVER told you that you couldn’t have all-guy games (or if I have I mis-spoke and will accept my spanking).  What I have told you is that girls can game, girls want to game, and that I think gaming with girls is good for you.  I have told you how to attract girls to your game, and how to keep them there.

Mostly, if you want to have that all-guy game, what I want you to do is examine why you feel the need to, just as I examined why I wanted to do an all-girl game.

Roleplaying can be a very intimate experience, and some girls, hell, some guys, are intimidated by doing that in front of others at all, let alone in front of others of the opposite sex.  Much of our society sets the primary two genders (male and female) up as adversaries, and who wants to be vulnerable in front of adversaries?  I get that.

I weighed the pros and cons of having guys present in the Girl Game.  I had girls who had bad experiences gaming with guys.  I had girls who had awesome experiences gaming with guys, but wanted to see what an all girl group would be like.  And I had girls who hadn’t gamed before for whom the thought of doing it in front of guys was intimidating.

I can tell you that even when the only guy present is the Geek Husband What Rules, the dynamic changes. Quite frankly, I do not care for how the dynamics change and want to keep that roleplaying experience as undilute as I can.  Partially, it’s my own damage that changes the dynamics.  He’s my primary GM, and I have a tendency to defer because of it.

Now, if your game is just organically all guys, that is a totally different thing than only gaming with guys because “girls suck and will ruin gaming.”  Thankfully that attitude seems to be dying out, but it still rears its ugly head from time to time.

Or there may be a specific group of people you want to game with and they “happen” to be all guys.  It does happen absent malice. I recognize this.

Or maybe your group has “that guy” in it, and while he’s a great roleplayer and a good friend otherwise, you know he’ll suck around a girl for whatever reason (doesn’t like them, turns into a horndog, etc…).  So you decide to keep him and forego gaming with any girls, that’s valid, too.  Of course, it’s also valid to tell him to suck it up and grow up, and deal with having a girl in the group as well.  Honestly, I find a lot of the hostility from Geeky guys towards girls to be a lack of healthy exposure.  Once you demystify the vagina-bearers, we’re a lot less scary.

BUT all of that said, you need to remember that male gamers still outnumber female gamers by a HUGE margin, which is why I keep hammering at you to include girls in your gaming groups.

At the incredibly girl-friendly GoPlayNW, which had 70 attendees, there were 8 girls that I recall.  That’s a nearly ten to one margin.  Granted, I am far less likely to be the only girl at a gaming convention now than I was ten years ago, so I see the progress.  But it can be intimidating being the only girl at the table.  Particularly in a convention setting where you will probably be outnumbered at least ten to one.  Not only is it a little nerve-wracking to be roleplaying with strangers, but being surrounded by guys they don’t know well also tends to trip the internal alarms that have been societally conditioned into most women.*

If you don’t game with girls, who will?  Yes, I’m female and I game and GM, but there aren’t that many of me running around.   Probably more than I think there are, and far fewer than I hope.  And by excluding girls, you may well miss out on some awesome fellow gamers.  Plus, you want to keep the hobby going, right?  More gamers means more gaming books sold… I’m just saying.

Edit:  Here’s a link to the Stabbing Contest podcast where I discuss this exact issue with Clyde from Theory from the Closet. 

*This is a societal conditioning thing, and if you need it explained I can point you to the Polimicks blog.

Seriously, Marvel?

Guys get costumes, we get lip gloss?

http://marvel.com/news/.8597.Marvel~apos~s_Summer_Style_Guide

Just fuck you in the ear.

Geek Girls Rule! – Podcast #13 Verb Noire and Race Fail 09

Lucky 13!  Finally got the damn thing up, edited and posted.  Boy, it has lived up to it’s number, too.  Editing issues, had to attempt the upload three times because our internet’s been all wonky.  But it’s here.

Podcast #13

Mikki Kendall and I talk about Race Fail 09 and how it inspired her and Jamie Nesbitt Golden to start up Verb Noire.  It gets a bit quiet in places, so you’ll want headphones for this.  I need better tech.

Also, just so you know, the glitch they talk about in reference to the Verb Noire store is fixed, and their first book River’s Daughter by Tasha Campbell is ready for sale!

Addendum:  I’ve not read the Sookie Stackhouse books, so I am going off of what other people have told me about the way the characters of Tara and Lafayette were depicted therein.  I suppose I should get off my ass and read those, huh?

The Joe Quesada* Drinking Game: Official Rules

*This is in no way endorsed by Marvel, Mr. Quesada or anyone else officially linked to either Marvel or Mr. Quesada.  It is satirical in purpose.

Equipment:

Your favorite booze (with chasers if desired)
The internet
When Fangirls Attack, Newsarama or another comics news site

Rules:

1. If Mr. Quesada points to an amazingly cheesecaked out female character dressed in string, and says, “That’s a strong female character,” take a shot.
2. If Mr. Quesada says “I can’t be sexist because… (i.e. I listen to P!nk, I have a daughter…),” take a shot.
3. If Mr. Quesada says that the people who are criticizing him should just go away and never read Marvel comics anymore, take a shot.
4. If Mr. Quesada says we just don’t “get” how these characters are powerful, take a shot.
5. If Mr. Quesada says that the people criticizing him/Marvel Comics obviously don’t read them, and should just shut up, take a shot.
6. If at any time Mr. Quesada or the author/interviewer infers that comic fangirls are just ugly, fat, gross beasts and are jealous of female comic characters, take a shot.
7. Any time Mr. Quesada opens his mouth, take a shot preemptively, it’ll dull the pain of the ensuing stupid.

If anyone else would like to contribute rules to the Joe Quesada drinking game (no affiliation in any way, shape or form with Mr. Quesada or Marvel comics, intended for satirical purposes only, this website does not advocate drinking yourself into a stupor, no matter how it numbs the pain of being a female Marvel fan), please feel free to leave your rules in comments.  At a later date we will collect them all and publish them in another post.   I will also accept suggestions for a Dan Didio Drinking game as well.

Thank you.

With special thanks to the Geek Husband What Rules for helping me codify this many rules.

Geek Girls Rule! #85 – Joe, Joe, Joe, f*ckin’ Joe.

When a friend of ours does something particularly boneheaded, say, getting back together with a disastrous ex, that’s usually how we start the conversation.  Just imagine a lot of headshaking.

As I said in the last quick post, I really should know better than to try to read any interview, press release or article about Joe Quesada without a fifth of whiskey at hand.  Seriously, I want to create the Joe Quesada Drinking Game.  Every time he says something egregiously sexist, or just plain stupid about women, take a shot.  Congratulations, you’ll be a career alcoholic in no time. 

Ok, in the press release in question, Mr. Quesada cites P!nk’s album covers as a reason Marvel’s not sexist, and further, we’re supposed to imply that because he listens to a Feminist musician like P!nk, that means he’s not sexist.

Mr. Quesada, I read the Koran as part of a Grad level survey of religions class, this does not make me Muslim.  Nor does the fact that I also read the Upanishads make me Hindu.  Nor does having read the Bible make me Christian. 

As with religion and many other life and ethical choices we face, there is much more to being Feminist that listening to Sarah McLachlan and Ani DeFranco.  Part and parcel of being Feminist (for men and women) is realizing that women are still neither legally nor socially equal in this society.  We are paid less for the same work, our bodies are a warzone over whether or not we should or should not have children, abort, get sterilized, etc…  The other part of being a Feminist is working to try to overcome those inequities and doing something about it, as much as you can.  Whether it’s blogging, marching, volunteer work, spreading the word, performing at charitable functions, attending those functions, calling people out on their bullshit, whatever. 

Also, I think you insult P!nk when you equate a strong woman like her, who has written songs like “Respect,” “Stupid Girls” and “Dear Mr. President” with wank fodder images drawn by perpetual adolescents. 

Because this: 

Yeah, no agency here whatsoever. /snrk

Totally equals this:

They're just dripping with agency here.

For the love of all that’s holy…

Also, Mr. Quesada’s response to accusations of sexism in Marvel comics is to say:

“If you’re [a] Marvel reader and truly feel we’re sexist, then why are you reading our books? Now, perhaps you’re not a Marvel reader, then if that’s the case, I’m not quite sure what you’re criticizing if you don’t read our books?”

So, let me get this straight.  If you are reading Marvel and criticizing them, you shouldn’t be reading them.  And if you don’t read them, you…  No, wait, it doesn’t make any more sense the longer I look at it.  (*takes shot*)

I have said it before and I’ll say it again:  I love comics.  I love superhero comics.  I don’t want to be pissed off every time I open a comic book, I want to be entertained.  And this “well, if you don’t like it, just leave” attitude the Big Two seem to have is going to shoot them in the foot.  Because eventually we will just leave.  We’ll take our money and go home, and so will the guys who have grown up enough to realize, “Hey, this sexism shit really is toxic.”   When the Husband What Rules and I first got together, he would occasionally rib me for calling something sexist bullshit.  But over the years he’s come to realize, I’m right about most of it.  And honestly, because he’s newer to the realization, he catches shit that I’ve become inured to through years of being female in this society.   Honestly, he feels I should just give up on the Big Two entirely.  And frequently and loudly announces this every time I pick up an issue and the eye rolling starts. 

But I don’t want to give up comics.  I want them to evolve with their audience.

Mr. Quesada has also stated that he can’t be sexist because he has a daughter, and I assume he loves her.  Well, Joe, is the Divas image really what you want your daughter to think beauty is?  Is that what you think is heroic for women and what she should strive to emulate?  Breast emphasizing poses and porn face?  Somehow I doubt that highly.  Or at I least I hope not.  Every woman out there is someone’s daughter.  You didn’t create the toxic environment your daughter and other girls are going to have to navigate, but you’re contributing to it and the sooner you realize that, the better off we’ll all be.