Geek Girls Rule! #119 – Why, TNA? Why!?!?!?!?!

Why am I blogging right now, instead of watching my beloved TNA?

Because TNA is dead to me.

DEAD TO ME!!!!

About a month or so ago, Dixie Carter decided to bring in Hulk Hogan, Scott Hall, Sean Waltman, and Eric Bishoff.

That’s right, TNA has hired in the cast of “The Death of WCW.”

Sigh.

Combined with the hiring/special guest appearances by “Bubba the Love Sponge,” it’s really more than I can handle.   Who the hell thinks that douche is funny?

Like I’ve said before, I’m used to this particular interest of mine kicking me in the teeth, but this…?  I draw the line at fundamentally stupid decisions that appear to be designed to sink a federation I adored madly, even when it was kicking me while I was down.

What, are Dixie Carter et al tired of running TNA and making a bid to sell it out to WWE as another farm league?*  Because I can’t come up with any other reason for hiring Hogan and his buddies, doing away with the six-sided ring, and hiring fucking RUSSO!!!!  Russo’s the worst god damn writer in the business.  I’ve seen stuffed armadillos who could script better matches and dialog.  My cats have a better grasp of plot and interpersonal dynamics.

God DAMN IT!!!!!

Seriously, guys, when Women’s Erotic Wrestling has better matches, male or female, it is time to FIX IT.  And not by hiring the people who broke another federation.

Look, as much as I love some of the older guys, and at one time had a monstrous crush on Scott Hall, they can’t wrestle anymore.  I love Rick Flair, but every time he takes a bump, I’m waiting for his spine to shoot out of his mouth and kill someone in the audience, and not in a good way.

Ok, I admit, I was dubious when they brought in Kevin Nash, but he’s a truly funny guy.  He’s got great mike skills, and the whole mentor/betrayer thing suits him.  Nash is great, he’s funny and he recognizes his physical limitations.

But Hogan only ever had five moves in the first place, and with injuries, he’s lost two of those.

Seriously, guys, pull it together, cut the deadweight, bring back the good, hot young wrestlers, the six-sided ring and keep on with the women who can wrestle (Hamana, Kong, ODB, Tara**).  Leave the bra and panties bullshit to WWE.  I wanna see wrestling.  Cut the talking, cut the bullshit, and wrestle.  Wrestle.  Wrestle.  Wrestle.

That’s why I loved you, quit breaking my heart.

*Yeah, I’m still bitter about ECW.

**That said, the Beautiful People are great heels and have gotten to be WAY better wrestlers than when they started out.

Geek Girls Rule! #62.5 – One More Thing on Women Wrestlers in TNA.

I noticed this watching some of the more recent TNA footage and shows. 

There are a HELL of a lot of ODB shirts out in that audience, on female fans. 

That’s right, on the female fans, not the men.  This NEVER happened with WWE or WCW.  Not with Chyna, and especially not with any of the other women in WWE like Sable, Trish Stratus or any of the new crop of Divas.  But if you watch the crowds during matches on TNA, you’ll see a whole lot of women wearing ODB shirts.  Women are getting behind the female wrestlers in TNA, in droves.  And that is largely because the female wrestlers are wrestlers, not merely eyecandy.  Female fans can identify with ODB, Awesome Kong, Roxxi and even Gail Kim, because they look like normal women.  Muscley normal women, but they aren’t all air-brushed, made up into Playboy perfection.  Roxxi has a shaved head, ODB has some serious thighs and ass (Wooo!), and Awesome Kong just looks powerful!

Take note, WWE, I think TNA has your number.  At least, dear Gods, I hope they do, because WWE since the WCW collapse is just fucking pathetic. 

Long Live TNA!!!

Geek Girls Rule! #62 – Speaking of Things I Love that Occasionally Kick Me in the Teeth

I love pro wrestling.  I do.  Mr. Geek Girl What Rules got me into it when we first got together, and I’m hooked.  I think I may be more into it than he is now.  I’m certainly the one who says, “Ooo! 9 o’clock! Time for TNA!” on Thursday nights.  And when Jeff Jarrett announced that Mick Foley will be coming out of retirement to wrestle in TNA, I squeaked with joy.  Mick Foley is Awesome! 

However, my love affair with wrestling is not without its bumps.  All puns intended. 

I had to break up with WWE because I just couldn’t stand the stupid, ultra-mega sexist bullshit anymore, and once WCW folded it’s like they just quit trying.  “We’re the only game in town, suck it.”  They got rid of damn near every female wrestler they had who could, and replaced them with “Divas” who couldn’t “sell” steak to starving men.  Seriously, the last time I bothered to watch WWE, it took all of five seconds into the first “Bra and Panties” match for me to turn it off in disgust and never bother again.  I also don’t watch “ECW” anymore for many of the same reasons.  Some of the wrestling is good, CM Punk is pretty awesome, Chris Jericho.  But most of it’s just… lame.  Either the wrestlers are getting sloppy, or their camera guys are, because you’re seeing them pull blows, miss cues, and it just isn’t good.  Not all of them, of course.  Carlito’s good, and a few others I could probably name if I still watched it, but they’re carrying the old guys who either can’t pull off the moves, or who never could and survived via cronyism and the stiff workers who “look” good.  And don’t get me started on the blatant nepotism that keeps that douchebag Randy Orton employed.  What a wanker.

Now TNA is not without faults.  Yeah, it can be pretty damn sexist.  Some of the story lines make me want to scream with the stupid.  And puh-lease can we get rid of the “Beautiful people?”  Granted, they still wrestle better than most of the WWE Divas, but I really think TNA would be better served if they hired more Roxxi Laveaus (who some of you may remember as Daphne in WCW if my sources are to be believed), ODBs, Awesome Kongs, and yes, even, Gale Kims.  And I really wish they’d let Cheerleader Melissa be Cheerleader Melissa more often instead of just Kong’s valet, Raisha Saeed. 

So, what brought this on?  Last night TNA was showing some of their “Rough Cuts” which I think are advertising a new series of DVDs, and they had a quick clip with Roxxi Laveau talking about taking headshots and bleeding on camera, and how much she loves what she does.  (Edited because I’m a space cadet), they also interviewed Miss Brooks, who talked about how much it upsets people to see a woman bleeding in the ring. 

Just watching Roxxi’s eyes light up as she talked about her love of her job, it reminded me why I really started liking pro-wrestling in the first place.  Women like Chyna and Molly Holly and, yes, even the Fabulous Moolah and Mae Young.  Those two old ladies were taking bumps into their 60s for WWE.  That takes guts.  And I really love ODB because, well, she’s sort of shaped like me.  It’s NICE to see tough, athletic women kicking ass.  And yes, I know it’s not “real,” but the athleticism it takes to NOT get seriously injured while pulling off those moves is. 

And it’s nice to see women not overly concerned with being girlie.  Women who get to be aggressive and competitive.  Sometimes I think they take the “non-girlie” thing a little FAR with ODB, but whatever.  It’s nice to know I’m not the only over-competitive bitch out there when it comes to sports.  Or, anything, really.  I’m working on it.  I have a hard time not trying to “win.”  It kind of drives some of my gaming buddies nuts, including the Mister.  

And as much as I think I’ve inured myself to the sexist stupidity of pro-wrestling, it does periodically kick me right in the teeth.  Turning SoCal Val into a money grubbing whore in the latest installment of the Sanjay Dutt-SoCal Val-Jay Lethal love triangle plot, the aforementioned “Beautiful People,” and the entirety of the Robert Rude character’s treatment of women, to name just a few.  Not to mention the fact that Gail Kim just about loses her trunks every match.  Granted, that would probably happen with longer ones, too, she is kind of a tiny thing, as strong as she is. 

A lot of people would give me reams of shit for watching pro-wrestling.  I mean, I just did a paragraph on some of the amazingly sexist and misogynistic storylines TNA has.  But… they still have wrestlers like Roxxi Laveau, ODB and Awesome Kong who are not conventionally beautiful, but are there because they are amazing wrestlers.  And sometimes you have to take the bad with the good.  Overall, I think the presence of real women wrestlers outweighs the stupidity, at least for me. 

I really need a Roxxi Laveau or ODB t-shirt.  I would so wear it.  ALL. THE. TIME.